


Endure

by elfriniol



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst, Other, it's 1976 and Kaz reflects a bit on his life, the BBKaz here is sorta subtle but if you squint....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 04:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7876765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfriniol/pseuds/elfriniol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life can take unexpected turns, for better or for worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [statisticsfag](https://archiveofourown.org/users/statisticsfag/gifts).



> This little ficlet is for the lovely statisticsfag - happy b-day dude!!! Wish you a wonderful year and all the best, and just so you know, I'm really so happy to have you in my life <33 I hope you'll like the fic (and I'm sorry for the angst but hey it's a post PW Kaz fic :''D)

It's been a year since the crash and 30 years since his birth.

His thoughts about reaching this particular age differed throughout his life. As a child, when all he knew was shop upkeep and making ends meet, adulthood was a small dot on the horizon. Distant, grey, indistinct. Later, upon discovering his american (and military) heritage, he envisioned himself as a trooper, rifle in hand and victory at his feet. In some wilder fantasies, trooper changed into a decorated officer, major, colonel even. Suddenly, the walls between which he'd lived his life began to feel small, confining, but also fragile, and he knew they would do a poor job at containing him. It was clear what he had to do, and he wouldn't settle for the next best thing.

By thirty he'd be a decorated war veteran.

At thirty, he's a bitter, cynical, foul-tempered gun for hire.

„Commander! Commander, the convoy's been spotted heading south-east.“

„Get everybody on position; we'll strike as planned.“

„Sir!“

Check the rifle, check the ammo, proceed to your post. In his youthful naivity he thought working hard would land him a position not to be bothered with dirty work, and now he had to laugh at his own stupidity. What you don't do yourself, you don't have. It's simple. And, under any circumstances, trust no-one.

No exceptions.

_Don't take it the wrong way. Anyone looking for him would be looking for you. He needed to be as far from you as possible. In fact, I'm still not sharing his location, even now. Problems could arise._

His jaw clenches at the memory, at that professional calm behind the words that made him go numb. He adjusts his glasses – a distressed gesture he quite hasn't managed to get rid of – scans the roadbend in his view. Nothing yet. Anticipation tugs at his insides, but not in a bad way. It's like that stretched moment hunters experience while waiting for an unsuspecting animal to appear, a promise of triumph, no matter how insignificant. And that sabotaging a transport of explosives in rhodesian wilderness was a very little victory.

Then again, it proves to be an efficient stress-reliever.

_This? This is for Snake._

The sabotage is a success. Bloody, savage, meaningless success. He doesn't take prisoners or hostages, not after 1975. He scourges the field of battle, makes sure absolutely nothing goes to waste. Only then he gives the order to retreat.

It makes him feel a little content, for now. This feeling will wear off soon enough, but he savors it while it lasts. There's no telling how long he'll have to endure this dormant state of existence, where he endures only thanks to a hazy vision of the future and near-tangible phantoms of the past, so he treasures every change of pace, every little thing that brings him some sort of satisfaction.

No matter if the satisfaction comes with an expiration date.

_Fantasy can make for a powerful ally, but remember this reality Kazuhira Miller. Big Boss will wake up._

It's been a year since the crash and 30 years since his birth. How many more will pass when that reality comes crashing down?

Will he live to witness it?

He smiles – not nicely, but then, then he remembers what he must do. After all, he does have a role to play, and maybe once it's all said and done he'll be able to watch sunsets again.

Endure.


End file.
